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September 30, 2011

The Lady Who (Sometimes) Lunches


Tomorrow is the first day of October. Where did September go? Here I thought that I’d have all of this free time to write once the kids started school full-time. Suddenly I realized that nearly a month has passed and I’ve barely come up for air.

The question I get the most is “What do you do with all of your time these days?”. It’s not an easy to question to answer but I honestly find myself so busy that the clock seems to move from 9:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. in a nanosecond. The opportunity to do housework, laundry, groceries and cooking without kids underfoot has been refreshing. I’ve also found time to work out (somewhat regularly), volunteer at the school, install Sirius satellite in the minivan, help organize our local Terry Fox Run, start my French classes (with homework!), organize a street party, volunteer as a Sparks leader, finish training to work on Election Day and to do all the other little administrative things that fill my day.
The best part about being a SAHMOSAK (stay-at-home-mom-of-school-age-kids) has been the opportunity to catch up with friends. I will be honest here. I have become a “lady who lunches”. I have gone out with different friends about five or six times for lunch. A woman has to eat, right? And what better way to reconnect with a friend than over a meal you’d have to eat anyway! It’s hard to make evening plans when a spouse has to be consulted or a sitter has to be booked and we all get so busy with our lives. A break in an otherwise hectic or solo kind of day, midday get-togethers are made for this.
There are many many blogs out there that discuss the difficulties of making new mom friends. I used to worry about that. Am I connected enough? Do I have enough friends? Am I liked enough? I realize now that the relationships with the friends I already adore and the people that I meet with whom the friendship blossoms effortlessly are the women to keep close and the bonds to strengthen. If a friend makes me feel like I’m more of my authentic self, this is a friend to cherish. I am too old to try to be someone I’m not.
This is the part of my life that I didn’t realize was suffering from neglect. In a busy world of raising kids, tending to a family and running a household, it’s easy to forget how important these connections are. My friends enrich my life in so many ways. They are my sounding-boards, my shoulders to cry on, my fountains of advice, my standup comics, my pillars of strength, my partners in crime, my sisters-(and brothers)-in-arms.
And so to you, my friends, a toast! With a sandwich and a salad and maybe a beer. If this is what it’s all about, I’m thrilled to say that I am a “lady who (sometimes) lunches”.


Image © Melissa Schalke | Dreamstime.com
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